Better Love - Understand Your Dating Patterns, Change Your Choices, and Find Your Person

From Dr. Jess Carbino, former in-house sociologist with Tinder and Bumble, a practical and science-backed transformative approach to modern dating, teaching readers how to build internal fulfillment, set healthier patterns, and create meaningful, sustainable connections.

Modern dating isn’t broken, but the way we approach it is. It’s become a performance; we curate, optimize, swipe, and second guess—yet meaningful connection feels further away than ever.

In Better Love, sociologist and soon-to-be psychologist Dr. Jess Carbino offers a smarter way forward. Drawing on research-backed behavioral science and her firsthand experience inside Tinder and Bumble, she reveals why so much conventional advice—“be more desirable,” “play hard to get,” “manifest harder”—misses the point. The real work of dating isn’t about becoming more appealing. It’s about becoming more aware.

Blending research with practical tools, Better Love introduces readers to powerful psychological and sociological insights that quietly shape every romantic decision. You’ll learn how thin slicing influences first impressions (and how to use it wisely), how your locus of control determines whether dating feels empowering or defeating, and how the way you imagine others see you—can distort attraction and self-worth. Additionally, Dr. Jess asks that we reconsider our framing of dating as the pursuit of the other and ask ourselves in what ways dating may also be the pursuit of the self.

This isn’t a book about landing a partner at any cost. It’s a guide to building internal fulfillment so that the relationships you choose are grounded, mutual, and lasting. Smart, science-backed, and refreshingly practical, Better Love helps you stop performing for love and start participating in it.