Dodgy Bones: Pilates, Pills and Villains

Kelly is throwing everything she's got into her new bone health Pilates course. Her elderly landlord, ex-policeman Tom, and his friends help distribute leaflets so news of the forthcoming classes reaches our other main characters of gardener Ginnie and her relentless mother-in-law Mabel; self-employed, vivacious and voluptuous sewist Violet; quiet, retired deputy-headteacher Heather, and her son's partner of French descent, Vincent.

Pharmaceuticals sales rep Aidan sees a leaflet too. He's just dropped off some sample pots of a new bone-boosting product called BoneFitVit at Castle Street Chemist's, owned and run by Reginald Jenkins. However, for underhand reasons and a substantial bung, Reginald swaps out the pots' contents for something far more potent that he's meant to be minding for criminal entrepreneur Dix, who in turn is minding it for the local drugs baron. Shortly after the tablet switch, a customer-related incident hospitalises Reginald, so his staff innocently give the tampered pots to Kelly when, at Aidan's urging, she calls to collect them. It most definitely isn't a mere vitamin complex that she hands out to Ginnie, Mabel, Violet and Heather as freebies. The results are stupendous.

Unfortunately, Pat now needs this potent product back, urgently. He sends in his best, well, his only men, Slug and Lettuce, to hunt down Dix and retrieve the valuable pills. This is a lot easier said than done when Reginald is in hospital with amnesia, Dix keeps disappearing and the henchmen are hopeless. To complicate things further, Heather's son Trevor is becoming increasingly suspicious about what is making his elderly mum so perky, and ex-policeman Tom begins to smell something fishy too. And everyone is understimating the determination of a handful of mature ladies who rather like their new-found energy and mental acuity. 

'Dodgy Bones: Pilates, Pills and Villains' is the lively and enjoyable account of the chaos that ensues when you combine all these elements.