In the Ordinary Instant - A Memoir of Walking with Chronic Pain

A man with unpredictable chronic pain sets out to walk the Camino de Santiago alone, confronting the body—and belief system—that has shaped his life.

Dominik is a miracle child, or so he has been told. For years, his parents struggled to conceive, until his mother travelled to a holy shrine in Spain and wished for a child. A story that passed into family lore.

Growing up in a loosely religious French Catholic family, Dominik always thought of Catholicism as a cultural rather than spiritual practice. But when intense chronic pain and unexplained fainting spells suddenly and violently manifested in his teenage years, Dominik learned all the ways people could attach spiritual and fantastical weight to illness. Even his parents pursued everything—from medicine to miracles—in hopes of curing him. Over the years they travelled to meet many specialists and supposed healers. He even underwent an involuntary exorcism. 

Getting from point A to point B has never been a given for Dominik. Walking anywhere, there is always the chance he might collapse, hit his head on the concrete, get stuck in a snowbank . . . or worse. And yet, Dominik decides to walk over 800 kilometers of one of Europe’s most storied pilgrimage routes. Alone. 

The Camino de Santiago draws millions seeking faith, community, transformation, and healing. Dominik has spent years feeling at odds with religion and the ways it framed his illness—and still, he is drawn to the Camino both because of its roots and despite them. 

In his poignant and gorgeously written memoir, Dominik sets out to deconstruct his relationship to faith, face his fears of travelling alone, and free himself from the enduring promise of magical healing—and to navigate what it means to live fully inside a body that hasn’t always made it easy.