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What if your pencils were listening?
Frank Peniston isn't your average detective. He's a mustached vigilante with absurd gadgets, infinite ammo, and a Chevy Malibu named Madge. And when a guided tour of Welvin's pencil factory turns into a high-stakes surveillance conspiracy, Frank finds himself facing his weirdest case yet.
A corporate plot to hide smart tech inside school pencils Biometric scanners, sentient algorithms, and deadly Scantrons A mysterious woman who knows how to handle a No. 2 One man, one kidney stone, and a very infinite-clip GlockArmed with duct tape, Full Throttle, and questionable metaphors, Frank must infiltrate the prototype wing, battle a rogue AI, and stop the factory from turning kids' homework into espionage data.
Fans of Christopher Moore, Carl Hiaasen, and absurd noir parodies will love this unhinged action-comedy mystery. Because in Welvin, Massachusetts… justice doesn't just write history. It scribbles it in blood and graphite.
