Mr Orange

The year was 1968, I was 2 years and 6 months old. I was a shy little girl with a mop of curly light brown hair and big brown eyes.

I was sent away when my parents divorced putting me into the hands of a family member that was a pedophile.

This isn't a graphic story, but it does draw you in to give you a glimpse of a young girls mindset and what she went through as she tries to come to terms with what happened to her from such a young age as she moves into adulthood.

I started writing poetry at the age of 13 not fully understanding what I was remembering but the need to purge the feelings and memories that caused me so much confusion and fear. It was overwhelming.

One early morning after a horrible nightmare I found myself reaching for my note book and I wrote my first poem 'Mr Orange' and my journal was born.

My secrets were safely hidden in a form that if found would be just the silly ramblings of an overly emotional teen.

The physical, mental and sexual abuse I went through was dotted throughout my childhood and those early teen years.

Those experiences lead me into a life that was intense and painful, that sort me looking for answers within myself and around me.

I have written the story behind each poem and it shares what I was going through at that time in my life.

There is so much more of my story to share but I want to honour my little one first.

The young child who lived through so much and fought so hard not to lose what was held in her heart, love, care and compassion.

These poems are her words, the pre stories are mine.

I understand we are one but I choose to honour this little one separately as she has lived through her personal war and her poetry deserves to be heard.

Love Lottle G