The Comet Rider

– What would it be like to have an intimate relationship in space? Does the absence of gravity help or hinder?

– The range of motion would have to be quite limited to avoid having to strap the individuals to a surface, which would ruin the whole zero-gravity sensation.

– Besides, you've probably noticed that blood pools in the head and chest, leaving little circulation for the extremities. It'll remain nothing more than a fantasy.

Commander Alexei—our pilot with titanium limbs (literally, he has no legs) — chimes in:

– So, I have an advantage there. Since I don't have blood flowing to my lower limbs, there's more blood available to keep the machine running.

Elena decides to join the conversation — since a relaxed atmosphere is essential for keeping crew morale high — and her input as a doctor will either confirm or refute what's being discussed.

– To wrap things up, the male gamete would be completely disoriented by the lack of gravity; even if an egg were fertilized, it would be practically impossible for it to attach to the uterine wall, preventing implantation.

What kind of crazy conversation am I hearing over the intercom? Schizophrenia caused by radiation exposure? Is an alien virus taking over the Kosmos Pioneer crew? Is some extraterrestrial entity trying to communicate with us?

– Attention, crew! If any member is experiencing hallucinations related to activities involving a surge of hormones, I suggest you start praying more—or at least increase your dosage of anti-psychotic medication to prevent a psychotic break.

A year and a half in space, inside an aluminum can, eating nothing but dehydrated food and smelling the methane naturally expelled by the human body — which air purifiers can't fully filter out — and on top of that, I have to put up with these two jokers.

"Mateus and Artur, you two are an explosive combination. I'm thinking of dropping you both off halfway to the Asteroid Belt and coming back for you only after the mission is done. How's that sound?"

The rural side of Viktor's childhood decided to chime in:

"They must've smoked horse manure when they were kids; this is a symptom of brain damage, only intensified by cosmic radiation."

Sofia, our phlegmatic and calculating co-pilot, adds her two cents:

"It's better than them leaping around like gazelles inside the module just to feel the effects of the angular velocity difference. I'd rather listen to nonsense than have to correct our course every minute."

Of course, when a crew member jumps a meter inside the module, they can reduce the effects of the so-called "artificial gravity" — generated by spinning the entire assembly in a circle — by 10%, creating a sensation that lasts barely a second. Yet, in that moment, the jumper's body feels as if it's in freefall — like that first instant after a skydiver steps out of the plane door, before the body begins its dizzying downward acceleration.

It's guaranteed fun that causes a negligible wobble in our spacecraft, though the effect could grow exponentially if everyone took up the habit repetitively. For Alexei and Sofia—who are responsible for navigation, fuel consumption, and internal discipline—the goal is to allow only brief moments of distraction before steering the crew's bodies and minds back to more restrained activities.