The return of Gerry Roufs, the wandering Dutchman

On January 7, 1997, my partner, the Canadian sailor Gerry Roufs, disappeared at sea during the Vendée Globe solo round-the-world race. After conducting extensive searches to find Gerry and his sailboat--after receiving ransom demands, being accused of acts of piracy, and enduring countless other ordeals--it was ultimately the Chilean naval air force that found the shattered boat on the west coast of Patagonia, beached on the Atalaya Islands on August 24, 1998, after it had first been spotted by a cargo ship drifting upside down in the South Pacific on July 16, 1997. A complex mourning process began and held me captive for many years. My mind had to answer very grounded questions, while my heart needed to make peace with a man said to have perished at sea. Where did Gerry die? Where is Gerry, dead? Dreams, memories -- it took me a long time to understand and articulate the emotional stakes of a grief I had believed impossible. Then one day, when I returned to the places haunted by the past, a path dotted with luminous markers opened before my eyes. By choosing to follow it deliberately, it guided me toward the answers I had long hoped for, and I finally found peace of mind. And what if it was Gerry who returned, in a visible form, to set me free?