When I was just a little me

When I Was Just a Little Me: A Memoir of Healing the Inner Child

In this powerful and deeply personal memoir, Thapelo Valentine Mokone takes us on a journey through memory, pain, and ultimate healing. Beginning with his earliest memory—lying in a hospital bed as a baby, watching his father leave with the promise "I'm coming back"—Mokone traces the complex relationship with his father, Hamilton, a Navy soldier whose absence would shape the course of his son's life.

Growing up in Mamelodi, Pretoria, young Thapelo navigates a world marked by his father's physical and emotional distance. From nearly dying in a car accident while running to embrace his returning father, to watching him love other children with a presence he never showed his firstborn, to the devastating loss of his grandmother's inheritance—a million rands meant for his education that vanished into his father's parties and alcohol—Mokone's story is one of profound wounding.

But this is not merely a story of pain. It is a testament to resilience, self-discovery, and the power of spiritual connection. After three years of silence, persistent dreams begin calling Mokone back to his father—not for the father's sake, but for his own spiritual completeness. He learns that his father, despite all his failures, remains a conduit for ancestral energy, a link to lineage and heritage that cannot be severed without cost.

Through working beside his father, learning practical skills with his bare hands, Mokone finds a new kind of connection—not the idealized father-son relationship he once dreamed of, but something real, grounded, and sufficient. He learns to forgive, not because his father deserves it, but because he himself needs to be free.

Beautifully written and emotionally honest, When I Was Just a Little Me speaks to anyone who has struggled with absent parents, family trauma, or the long journey toward forgiveness. It is a story about becoming the person you needed when you were small—and about the healing that becomes possible when you finally go back for that little one.